


The auburn color

by hyokka



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-21
Packaged: 2018-02-20 00:02:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2407790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyokka/pseuds/hyokka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Squad leader Levi and his temporary rescue-team encounter a travelling young woman outside the walls, who claims that she came from the sea. Marian is somehow dragged into military life and facing difficulties as an outsider by her odd appearance and remarkably too outstanding abilities. Will she succeed as a soldier or as someone else? Find out reading the story...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The triple encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Hello thar!  
> This is my first SNK in-progress story and I would be very grateful if you would mind reading it! :3  
> Any feedback and critiques are welcome~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Temporary resque-team lead by fearless lance corporal Levi encounters not only titans but also a traveller.

##  The triple encounter

_“Most of the people behind the walls believe that Survey Corps will bring victory to humankind and I also do in spite of many obstacles and countless losses. Some people believe that Titans are the unacknowledged Gods who should protect the walls and stuff that I’m not buying. They hopelessly believe in miracles, my ass, and let themselves get eaten by those filthy monsters. The ones who crave to live and survive this madness are not willing to get eaten, but unfortunately, bad things happen._

_A week ago we lost contact with one of the expedition group that set out to supplement few of the Survey Corps’ hideouts with goods like food cans, corn and gas tanks. They didn’t make it back and we’re here to investigate the situation and count the losses, if lucky, to find any survivors.”_

The sun was about to set in two or three hours as Survey Corps went through the usual forest located behind the walls many long and exhausting miles away from the safety humanity craves. It was way safer to go through woods and forests because if they encounter Titans 3DMG could be used thanks to the trees. In fact they already have encountered two Titans, but everything went smooth: monsters weren’t deviant-type and easy to kill. Besides, this expedition and rescue group has humanity's most powerful soldier among them. Lead by lance corporal Rivaille nothing could go wrong on his watch.

Rescue team was on its way to the distant hideout, because the first one had been full of supplies, which tells that the previous group had reached that point and went further.

– Corporal! – A woman called out to the man in the front row leading the group of nine people including him and a carriage.

– What is it? – replied Rivaille in a cold indifferent voice, looking back at her.

– We are approaching the village! – She noted, checking the map.

– How far? – asked the man. He’d prefer to stay for the night inside of the building or on big-ass trees as he calls the trees in giant forest.

– It should be... – woman stopped speaking, glancing with a terrified look at some point in distance.

– Speak it up! – yelled Rivaille.

– ... there! – was the sudden response and woman pointed somewhere to show her comrades the horrifying view of annihilated village that was supposed to be still active. But since all of the houses made of stone were destroyed, there couldn’t be any survivors.

– Ch...! – Corporal gave out a displeased and angry sound.

They had to pass the village and search for another place where to reside the night.

Horses were rushing through the pale-green plain that used to be a field for cattle. Everything around was dying in the colors of the setting sun behind their backs. Through the carriage’s rattling and horses’ clatter of hooves a child’s cry had been heard somewhere from the small river nearby.

– Oi! Are you hearing that too?! – asked one man out loud to confirm that he’s not having any hallucinations because of the exhaustion. Everyone’s faces looked as pale as they have seen a 15-meter-type Titan before them.

– Kina! Leo! Hay! – Three names had been called out by the corporal; – Prepare to move on the left on my command! – He yelled.

– Others go forward! Destination remains the same! We’ll catch up! – ordered Rivaille and shouted ‘now’.

– Yes, sir! – And the team was divided in two groups.

 

It didn’t take long for the team to bump into 5-meter high obstacle.

– Heichou! TITAN! – shouted Kina her lungs out when saw titan figure on the horizon.

– Shit! – thought Rivaille, as they spotted the source of the cry.

A small child probably had been trying to leave the destroyed village and heading in the wrong direction and since it saw the titan, it started crying out loud that brought the second monster from the nearest forest.

The child-rescue mission didn’t feel to end well because of the significant distance between the group and the titan also moving towards the child. They won’t just make it in time.

– Heads up! Kill the titans at all costs even if we won’t make it! – ordered Rivaille and having hit the horse on its sides moved out forward, still hoping to save the innocent child. He was always stubborn and coldblooded and was trying to remain that way even now.

– Heichou! – shouted somebody from the group that fell behind a little.

 

Rivaille did not believe in miracles, he believed in human strength and determination, that a new blood in Survey Corps or usual citizen won’t be able to kill a single titan without any training. But something that very moment was about to change his mind.

 

– Rivaille Heichou! We won’t make it! – repeated Hay over and over again, watching how their leader rushed ahead.

– Kill the titan then! – yelled Rivaille angrily in response, because child’s life will be lost any minute now.

– Guys! Look! Ahead! – was heard from Leo pointing at the left side of a titan.

– There’s someone on the horse! Is that our man?! – Happy intonations were heard in Rivaille’s comrade’s voice as they saw a figure with a fluttering green cape. They had high expectations from the guy from another group all of a sudden, because despite not making out his face, he was moving very-very fast on a parallel with a titan itself. But corporal still remained skeptical and didn’t slow down a bit, preparing his swords and 3DMG.

Kina’s, Leo’s and Hay’s hopes had been crushed when a soldier passed the titan without trying to stop it by cutting its’ legs. Few more seconds and he outraced the monster for 123 meters heading directly to the child.

– What the hell is he doing?! – raged Leo not wanting to believe his eyes that soldier abandoned the oath to kill each and every titan he encounters. Same went for others and even Rivaille, who grew to despise man’s actions, but after someone shouted ‘No... Look closely!’ he forgave the soldier.

He was unarmed.

Riding a golden buckskin horse without a single sword on the hips in front of a titan wanting to eat him and later puke his corpse up, he seemed to be very brave and selfless.

Hundred meters remained till the crying child running away from the titan. But that wasn’t an obstacle for a soldier as he clung with his right leg to a stirrup and made an infamous death drag. SNATCH! And weeping kid was in his arms, already sitting in a saddle, clinging to his savior.

– Unbelievable! – Rivaille’s comrades expressed astonishment by the riding trick man made. It wasn’t just a trick, but it was performed on a high speed on the non-galloping horse.

– Not bad, – noted corporal with the same calm look on his face. The way was clear and nothing stood between the soldiers and the target.

 

Corporal’s eyes opened wide of the bewilderment when the soldier passed by him. Stranger man turned out to be a woman instead.

That millisecond of the moment felt like they got stuck in slow-motion. Rivaille caught a glimpse of auburn messy hair and ice-blue eyes filled with determination under the shadow of the green hood. Their eyes met for a second when their horses passed each other and then went in different directions. Corporal had not time to deal with a stranger, he and his team had a dirty job to do.

 

* * *

Stranger woman has been watching from afar how Survey Corps’ soldiers were dealing with those two titans. Perfect co-operation and team-work... One of them, leader as it seemed to her, went solo. His movements were magnificent: accurate, strong and graceful at the same time.

– Amazing! – Little girl sitting on young woman’s laps made her presence known by showing her liking for the soldiers.

– Yes, they are, – responded the redhead watching the second titan fall with a bump that could be felt on the ground as a trembling.

Even though they saved them from those monsters, she didn’t know whether to trust them or not... that’s why she just stood there, holding her horse back. But animal was exhausted from long distanced full speed run and rushed towards the river to drink some water.

Woman came down from the horse’s back leaving girl on in the saddle when the group of rescuers came closer in gallop. She could read a lot of confusion on their faces – they took her for one of their soldiers, because she was wearing exactly the same jacket, cape and boots and the same emblem as them, only that her clothes were covered in stained blood. And the 3DMG was missing along with the blades.

 

– Hey, you, – the man whose skills she grew to admire from afar came down from the horse. He was a lot shorter than he looked while riding the horse; he turned out to be even more loud and sounded indifferently outraged. Redhead did not respond, being more concerned with her steed’s well-being.

– Are you deaf or something? Heichou is talking to you! – said one of his female comrades out loud with an annoyed voice.

– He only called for me. He didn’t say anything meaningful yet, – noted woman calmly.

– You are coming with us. I have questions, – he said, ignoring her wittiness in his address.

– Besides, other titans might get here soon! – Mumbled another woman.

– Not likely. Sun already fell and it takes about fifteen to thirty minutes for humanoids to fall asleep, – was the answer.

– I’m not saying that I’m not going with you, it was just a remark... – she added and got into the saddle.

– Kina, take the girl, – ordered Rivaille and redhead gave child away willingly to another woman and they made a move towards another team’s location.

 


	2. Sack of raisins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi makes an unexpected decision.

##  Sack of raisins

 

– How’s the girl? – asked short man named Rivaille. He was the corporal and apparently the leader of the team.

Having ridden towards the agreed point of meeting, they caught up with another part of a team that had been waiting for them not so far away hiding on the trees. They had equipment, fresh water and food.

 

– She’s sleeping peacefully. Such an angel... – responded Kina in hushed voice.

– Yes, that one too. But I asked about the woman, – he got out of the unpleasant situation. Not that he didn’t care about the child’s state, it’s just he noticed how pale and thin the redhead actually was.

– Don’t worry, Rivaille heichou, she’s tied up to the tree, – answered that one Leo.

– Good, – mumbled shorty, – I need answers, – he said pulling the gloves on.

When he stepped closer to the detained, he could see how her cheekbones were standing out a bit as much as the dark circles under icy eyes. Girl’s face was indeed very pale, especially in the glow of a bonfire. A good smell of boiling food made it even worse giving away how hungry she was.

– Let’s start with a name, – he said like he was about to start a torture under everyone’s intense gazes.

– Marian... – mumbled girl barely heard. She fought sleepy state at the same time and tried not to lose it.

– I can’t hear you; – corporal grabbed her by the front hair and pulled up closer to his own face that expressed nothing than indifference.

– It’s Marian, – she responded out loud without any sign of pain. Normal person would have wrinkled one’s face after being grabbed by hair so suddenly.

– I’m not doing it to torture you, Marian, – some kind of softness had been heard in fierce man’s voice.

– I must know where you got those clothes, – he added.

– Untie me and give me something to eat. Then I’ll talk, – stated Marian and Rivaille ordered to untie her immediately.

 

– Well? – asked he not taking his cold eyes off the girl who was munching a hot boiled potato near the bonfire. Having swallowed the food she began answering the questions.

– I was searching for a safe place where I could hide from those humanoids you call titans. On my way through forest I encountered two scared to death horses. They led me to the massacre place... – she said, glancing at the people around her with caution.

She could feel how their hearts dropped into the ground after hearing the word ‘massacre’. They all turned as pale as she was. All except Rivaille. Glow of bonfire produced weird shadows on his face that made man look creepy.

– How many people were killed? – Continued corporal.

– I don’t know. Couldn’t make out. It was quite a mess... About twenty, perhaps, – oh yes, she did that on purpose in order to see what happens to the comrades of those who had passed away by describing the bloody scene.

– Legs and hands all over the place. Don’t know how you can put up with spilled brains and ripped out guts... – now she was interrupted by a terrified squeak from one of the women and Rivaille ordered Marian to shut up.

– Anyway, I borrowed those from the dead. My clothes wouldn’t have stood the cold and I went all this way barefooted or in sandals. Not a pleasant thing you know, – Marian reached for another potato.

– Why? – asked guy named Leo.

– What ‘why’? – She didn’t understand.

– You said barefooted. Were you attacked by bandits? – Everyone sharpened their ears.

– No, it’s just... Funny story and you won’t believe me anyway.

– I believe that you didn’t kill our comrades back there, – added corporal coldly, correcting the burning wood in the bonfire.

– Even if I say that I come from the sea?

That phrase astonished the soldiers who had not been asleep and listening to the conversation.

– That’s impossible! Sea is too far away from the kingdom! No-one has seen it or at least come back! – shouted Hay angrily. Perhaps she was too outraged by the fact that Marian had seen the sea itself and she hasn’t. It was something that they couldn’t even dream about. Even Rivaille’s face changed, but not on the outside, Marian could feel the changing emotions by some kind of atmosphere around him. Girl would have called it aura...

– Told you, you won’t believe me! But perhaps, I may describe it a little, – and she started her ‘song’ about everything she had sensed when lying on the shore: the endless blue water filling the horizon, the white foam left on the sand from the crashing waves, the greenish-blue turquoise color because of the high concentrations of lime near the steep cliffs, white fine sand with countless seashells rustling under her bare feet, the smell of salt and rotting seaweed between the rocks and flock of white seagulls crying in the sky and from time to time disappearing in the waves.

It seemed that every single soul around her fell into dream state trying to imagine the width of blue water reaching into nowhere. She would have gone on, but sudden piercing pain struck her right temple. Marian screeched through her teeth out of pain. That felt really unusual since she shouldn’t feel pain at all – that’s how she managed to walk non-stop through different landscapes without feeling the awful dull pain in her limbs and feet that were covered with blood-blisters and meaty areas under the peeled off skin on her toes. Pleasant memory had been replaced with something painful and disgusting while others enjoyed the false created memory. Her memory.

– Snap out of it, everyone: we’re heading out before the sunrise, – said corporal loudly like ordering his team to go to sleep. Marian was surprised of how they respected the short man and carried out his orders without any hesitation or resistance. She just watched him pointing at the 3DMG equipment left on the ground wanting the owners to pick it up and hide somewhere that it wouldn’t get under someone’s feet during the night time. Sleep was something they needed so hopelessly.

– You! – He turned to Marian who didn’t even think about moving away from the warming fire.

– If you’ll try anything “funny”, I won’t hesitate to kill you; – mumbled corporal in grumpy and threatening way, but Marian totally ignored him by asking whether she could keep the clothes until they reach the walls.

– That will be fine, – responded shorty and having picked up a shovel started digging the ground, throwing the dirt into the burning campfire to produce as less smoke as possible.

– May I...? – Marian wanted to ask something important, but Rivaille interrupted her and girl got the short and tired response:

– Do whatever you want, – and he went away to get some sleep, checking whether the night-watch man was sleeping or not.

 

Marian couldn’t get any sleep that night because of Rivaille’s huge snoring comrade under the tree. She was only one wide awake and hungry again when sun was about to rise on the horizon.

Starry sky turned from dark-blue and purplish to slightly yellow near the point where sun was about to show itself. Marian could see the disappearing tiny stars from between the dark leaves of a tree on which branch she was lying on. Her grumbling stomach wasn’t lonely as she heard someone’s belly-frog also croaking.

Oh, what came up next surprised her quite a lot.

Being unaware that Marian found the temporary residence on the nearest tree for the night, man named Keith raised the alarm by yelling and shouting when noticed that the detained had escaped from them during the night.

– Keith! What the hell?! – Groaned sleepy Kina rubbing her eyes, - The child is still sleeping!

– The other one is gone! – He explained and woke up everyone else. They were about to spread the panic until it reached Rivaille who had been quietly cleaning his blades, sitting near the one of the small barrels with water loaded on carriage.

– Calm down, – he said collectedly.

– But that girl could have led us to the missing team! – Keith was upset about how calm and ignorant corporal could sometimes be.

Man sighed, got down from the carriage and stepped towards the thickest tree. Heavy ‘knock-knock’ on the tree stem with a fist, still looking at his confused comrades with an indifferent face, and the rustling of leaves could be heard from the top of the tree.

– Good morning, – responded Marian to the silent call hanging upside down on the tree branch that had been carrying her light body weight all this night.

– No need to worry, I wouldn’t have gone anywhere, because you are too nice to strangers _and_ you have food and a map, – stated girl and got down from the tree.

– Simple? Now let’s start packing. Sun will rise in twenty minutes! We’re moving out in ten! – ordered Rivaille and as teammates began packing as quick as possible, he called Marian to come with him.

Rivaille opened the map of distant land on the barrels and fixed its corners with two rocks and a blade. Despite the poor light coming from the oil lamp, because it was still dark enough, drawn edges could be seen without any effort.

– Look here carefully, woman, – he drew her attention away from the 3DMG lying nearby on the ground by grabbing her dirtied cheeks between his fingers and turned her head towards the map.

– We have a long journey to this point here, where the previous team couldn’t make it... – he pointed at the drawn ‘hut’-like spot with his bony yet strong finger as Marian had already felt it on her skin, – ... and then back to the kingdom, – he slid it towards the flower-shaped circles that represented the walls of humankind’s kingdom, the only safe place there could still be found.

– Do you recognize the area? – He asked peeking at her. Not that he wanted to hide his curious gaze; he was just drawn to the odd combination of auburn almost red hair and rare eye-color. Redheads usually have eyes with different green and brown, sometimes blue, tones, but not this girl...

– Yeah, I can mark the place where I found the bodies... – she took a coal from Rivaille’s hand and marked the place in the next forest-spot with a thick ‘X’. Then Marian measured the map and the landscape she had passed yesterday on horse and on foot and put the coal aside by stating that it is useless to go any further.

– I get that you’re the respected leader of the team making the important decisions here and stuff... – she mumbled and continued to explain what she had on her mind so far before corporal says a word:

– ... but going further is not a good option. You don’t have to trust me, but I passed this route before I encountered those two titans you’ve killed... – she slid her finger through a map from the distant Survey Corps’ hideout to the ‘X’, – ... and all I can say is that the previous team had reached the hideout you’ve mentioned before, – Marian tapped on the ‘X’ twice.

– What makes you so sure of it? – asked Rivaille not wanting to accept the things Marian just told him, because he cannot forsaken the mission when a complete stranger says so.

– There were small sacks with raisins spilled in front of the hidden door in a shape of a small cave. Some people are using it as a sign of presence, – she replied confidently, wanting corporal to believe her. Not only that - Marian wanted to get to the kingdom as soon as possible since she had no other place to go to.

Judging by man’s empty look on his face, he was rethinking the plan they had with a team so far. Besides, the mention of the raisins that Survey Corps’ soldiers beloved so much, was enough good proof of that the woman wasn’t lying and trying to help them by saving them time, equipment such as gas tanks and food supplies. After she had even shown him the empty linen sack with a winged SC emblem on it, his mind cleared up.

– Listen up! – he called to his teammates that already had done the preparations by packing everything up and loading on horses and carriage while he and Marian were discussing issues with the map and routes.

– We have a change of plans. We’re going home! – stated man and watched how his subordinates’ faces changed from troubled to joyful. Everyone wanted to leave the god’s forsaken place behind the walls where the titans always crawl around.

While Marian went to see a little girl she had saved last night, Valdo – the one who was responsible for the night-watch – came to Rivaille with a question: why such sudden change of plans? Weren’t they going after the missing team even though they were found dead?

–  I know this is frustrating and Erwin will definitely kill me for this unexpected decision, but I’ll take the whole responsibility for my actions, – responded Rivaille calmly as always, glancing with a strident gaze at the woman who had suggested the plan and now was playing a clapping game with a child.

 


	3. Storyteller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some stories about the outside world are nothing but lies, but what if they're about titans?

##  Storyteller

 

\- Can I call you big sis? Pleeease? – asked a girl, whose name turned out to be Tamara, when Marian was chatting with her on a carriage since Rivaille asked her to watch the child so that she wouldn’t be any trouble to the team.

\- Yeah, sure, why not... – answered Marian.

She didn’t mind it at all because of what happened last night. In addition, Tamara lost her grandparents back there and felt broken at first, but it seems that she’s a lot better now.

\- Let me clean you up.

Girl still had those bruises and dirt on her knees and plump cheeks that gained their pinkish color again unlike on the day they met. She was scared and tired back then no wonder why she fell asleep so fast after having had a meal that Kina made her.

 

\- It bites, it bites! – Whined Tamara as Marian cleaned up her bleeding bruise girl had scratched a moment ago with her nails.

\- Oi! Calm her down! We’re on the titans’ territory! – snarled Hay, riding her horse closer to the carriage.

\- I beg your pardon, - answered Marian quickly and gave child an apple she picked up from the forest and had been hiding for herself all this time.

\- Are you a thief or something? – mumbled Hay suspiciously till Leo came closer to calm his teammate down by telling her to behave like a professional. Man got the annoyed ‘ch’ response.

\- Hey! Both of you! – Yelled Rivaille, who was leading the team in front row, - Get back into formation! -  He added angrily.

\- Yes, sir!! – responded his subordinates quickly and left the sides of a carriage.

Horses continued to run as fast as they could.

 

It took eight long hours under the direct sun till the team could see the light walls on the horizon. They got to the safe area with fields and green plains with few trees inside of the walls when having passed the guarding tower.

Marian was pretty amazed by the view of massive walls humans had built hundreds of years ago, because she hadn’t seen any fully built surrounding walls except those on the seashore back then when she woke up in the middle of sea rocks.

\- Is this a place where the humankind is hiding? – She thought without taking her sparkling eyes off the walls that were about to disappear soon.

\- Now we’re safe, - said Rivaille taking the speed down to reach the carriage.

\- And you can blabber your mouth into the gruel as much as you want, - he noted in an insulting manner keeping nonchalance on his face.

\- If so... then how about I tell you about how I wandered to the point where I met you? – She referred to the Survey Corps team with a smile on her face.

\- Do whatever you want, - was the reply and he went ahead again.

His place was taken by Valdo and Susan riding horses on the left of Marian and on her right were Leo, Kina and even Hay who fell behind on purpose to hide her curiosity. Keith and another man Marian hasn’t spoken with yet kept their corporal company. Coachman riding the carriage couldn’t hide from the stories young woman was about to tell them.

\- I know that you all have been through a lot of blood, sweat and tears because of the titans, but... – she began with a hurtful prologue and placing Tamara on her laps, continued:

-... let me tell you a scene from my journey when I encountered about three different types of titans at once! – She exclaimed and opened her arms wide open with a ‘wow!’ face and huge eyes.

\- You’re lying! – shouted Valdo with a face like ‘I’m not buying this shit!’

\- You can’t have faced so many titans! How weren’t you eaten?! – Kina raised her voice because of the surprise, feeling unfairness.

\- It’s true! – ensured them Marian taking a pompous pose.

\- I was searching for food when I encountered a fourth titan on my way from the sea. He turned out of nowhere and I ran as fast as I could, making sharp turns around the trees so that he wouldn’t grasp me. As we were running, another pair of monsters showed up and joined the chase. I thought I was about to be eaten! But then! – She stopped with a cunning smirk on her face, looking at the listeners at the same time to make sure they were into her story.

\- And? – asked Leo.

\- And then it happened! One of the titans reached out its hand and was about to grip me, but the second one jumped onto another and totally bit his arm off!! – She was full of steam when talking. Even Tamara was so intense that she didn’t let go of Marian’s hand, squeezing it harder and harder.

\- They started fighting, biting and tearing each other up for one single prey, - she added.

– You have got to be kidding...! – Soldiers could not believe their ears and were about to think of the story as it was fake and too unbelievable to be true.

– Did you hear that, corporal Rivaille?! – shouted Kina out loud so that corporal could hear the lies Marian was telling.

– Uhuh, – responded corporal indifferently, - I haven’t heard such bullshit ever since I’ve joined the Survey Corps; - man was definitely mocking Marian and her story.

– But it is the truth! – Woman didn’t want to remain silenced.

– I’ve seen titan cannibalism before, for real! With my own eyes! – She pointed at her icy irises with both pointing fingers, but judging by the smiling grins of Rivaille’s teammates, she gave up.

– I wish you also had seen it! I bet it would be a pleasant scene for all of your eyes! – She noted, remarking the common hate towards the man-killing titans.

– Before you start lying again... – Hay gave some signs of life by striking up the conversation first.

– Tell us... where did you learn that trick you pulled off when saving the girl? – asked fair-haired woman with curiosity and others nodded. When Keith and Susan asked what trick Hay meant, Kina and Leo hushed them down, trying to catch every word Marian will say.

– Umm... As far as I can recall, I’ve been taught doing the tricks, because as you have noticed, they can be lifesaving ones... – started Marian falling in thought for a second to recall memories of childhood she had forgotten. She probably over thought it because the weird humming struck up in her head when woman tried to remember. Was it an amnesia she has been suffering from all this time since the seashore? 

– Anyway, there are a lot of other tricks a true hunter should know. I used the ‘hiding’ technique when I encountered a titan after I got into the saddle. He didn’t even notice I was hanging on the other side of the horse... – She said.

– Hey, Rivaille heichou! Could it be useful to Survey Corps to learn such crazy horse riding?! – yelled Leo to the corporal who wasn’t listening to the blabbering anymore. He was troubled with replaying the possible answers that he will present to Erwin over and over again in his head...

– I don’t know, – was the answer for them to leave him alone till the moment he gets out of Erwin’s office.

 

– Another story! Another story! – asked Tamara and having raised her hands grabbed woman by her red messy hair. She was too energetic after having lost her parents who cared about her so much.

– Well... There was another thing I noticed. It may be also useful for the likes of you... – she fell into thoughts recalling the scene she had seen once during the night time.

– What do you mean by ‘for the likes of us’? – quoted Rivaille having put aside his own personal problem. He took it seriously and as an insult of the whole team and Survey Corps and every soldier as well.

– I mean that you’re the ones who explore things outside the walls, so... – she mumbled without a second thought like for an apology to them.

– We are reaching the main entrance to the Shiganshina district! – announced Keith to others and distracted them from the redheaded storyteller.

– You still can have a word before we enter the district, - noted Susan when she saw Marian’s disappointed expression, but something Marian wanted to say wasn’t meant for the team, but for corporal himself.

– Corporal! – She called out to him and without receiving any response, added by shouting as loud as she could:

– Did you know that titans might gather into a group at night in order to sleep!?

It really was a striking statement even that Rivaille’s uninterested and for a moment troubled face turned into astonished one and he even bothered to look at Marian, who was troubled as well, whether corporal takes it seriously or assumes that she’s lying.

– Where do you take that from? – He asked, craving to know.

– I saw them, - was the answer.

– They had been standing still and sleeping, like fish under water do without any sign of life. Not even twitching, - added girl, feeling pleased, because she had provoked at least a slight interest in the most calm and accurate man in the group.


	4. Compassion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes simple things can be more important than words...

##  Compassion

 

Only few people gathered near the entrance which Survey Corps used this time to enter the district. It was a very small crowd that bothered to gather while hearing the welcome bell ring. Marian sat still in the carriage holding Tamara tightly like she was about to lose her. She even got the feeling that those citizens around, holding knives, axes and other working gadgets in their hands when they came to see the arriving SC team, wanted to take girl away with force.

\- Look! They brought survivors...! – Mumbled men, having noticed bloody shirt on Marian.

\- Poor child! Her parents must have died! Is that her older sister? – Whispered women, gazing at little girl.

Those notes made both girls uncomfortable, especially Marian, when Tamara remembered her grandparents getting eaten or squashed. Eventually, she started sobbing in woman’s hands, shedding salty tears onto the blood-stained shirt.

\- We’re going to Survey Corps headquarters, - delivered message Keith from Rivaille who didn’t feel botheration to tell that to girls personally.

\- You can get a chance to change and then our commander will decide what to do with you next. We have dealt with those issues before, when survivors had to face difficulties moving into the town, - explained man and after being thanked by Marian, went ahead.

\- There’s nothing to be scared of, Tamara. Even if we are new to this big town, I will stay by your side no matter what; - girl had been hushed down by the young woman when the team entered Survey Corps’ headquarters’ property that looked more like a castle.

Having asked when she could see the commander, Rivaille replied next:

\- As soon as we settle our own and important things down, - and man added in annoyed way that there’s no way he would let such dirty and scrubby woman to commander’s office and that she needed to take shower first. Ooh, that insult made Marian angry in spite of the fact he spoke absolute truth and no respected leader would allow someone under his watch show oneself to commander in such awful state.

 

\- Here you go; - said ginger-haired young woman, almost the same age as Marian, and having handed over a bath set that consisted of washcloth, soap and towel, left the shower room and kept guard behind the door that no-one would enter or leave. Moreover, Marian had been given new clothes packed into the sack.

Shower room’s floor was made of a wooden grid so that the running water would go into the drain hole. After you have entered the shower room you got into the hallway first where you could change and leave unnecessary things behind.

As Marian began taking off the clothes that reeked for blood, sweat and everything else she couldn’t even name by smell, she felt like she had forgotten something important and that concerned Rivaille. Having torn off the dirty-white and stained shirt, woman discovered that _something_ when those silently fell on the tiled gray floor.

Those were Survey Corps’ emblems she had gathered from the dead team, because of the names on them. Eighteen dead soldiers who simply risked their lives in order to deliver goods to the hideouts so other men in need could use them. She lied that there were twenty of them, but it didn’t matter... they were mercilessly killed by titans. Eaten dead or even worse – alive...

Marian couldn’t stop herself from shedding tears for those who she didn’t even know. And now there’s a complete stranger holding their emblems sitting almost naked on the floor in shower room, weeping, instead of bringing them to those who could truly offer their souls grace and glory in front of other soldiers to pray for them. Friends, comrades, foes, lovers... they were important at least for someone.

It wasn’t a right time for Marian to cry over them. Woman made up her mind to bring those to the leader as soon as possible, before they’ll get lost or thrown away. It would be rather inappropriate to show up and tell the commander about the dead persons’ names the day after the arrival. She wanted to deliver those personally.

Having wept her tears and put on the old clothes, because getting dressed into new ones without having washed properly would dirty them, Marian noticed barely heard whispering behind the door. Girl named Petra was answering some questions received from a man who came to chat about the survivors. It seems that girl wasn’t talkative much because she had no clue about Marian’s and Tamara’s story. But Marian did catch something about Petra being ordered to watch her for a while and report if something happens. As they mentioned corporal’s name, it was clear that man had serious doubts and somewhat accusations towards her actions or what she had said before in the carriage.

Redhead turned on the water to make some noise, in order to pretend she was washing herself, before escaping through the window.

 

It was rather quiet for the late afternoon hour when she got out of the shower room. Perhaps everyone is loading down the carriage and taking care of horses and stuff? Or eating lunch? Didn’t matter... Marian sneaked across the small courtyard hiding her bloody white shirt under the new brown cape they gave her. Meeting soldiers on her half-way to the main building (at least Marian thought it was one) was not a problem, yet her wild and long red hair partly covering her face and tan skin were drawing everyone’s attention.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Sun was almost near the horizon and was getting to set soon in three hours. Time flies fast and even faster in commander’s office.

\- Are you telling me that you’ve abandoned the mission because there was defective and unproven information that the previous squad’s members are dead? – repeated a blond man with a bitter and displeased manly voice paraphrasing the part of Rivaille’s report to him. Of course, corporal hadn’t written anything down as file yet, because it was a habit to come to him and announce team’s arrival and make a quick report about the outcomes of any mission behind the walls.

\- No, not only that. We were also running out of gas tanks due to numerous titan encounters, - replied Rivaille the truth, standing still in front of commander’s desk, and not wanting to make any move even though he was in a free posture.

The sun was shining right onto him, partly blinding his vision. Rivaille felt like he was being interrogated by the man, in military uniform, he respected so much, especially having had put on his casual black jacket and trousers.

\- I couldn’t take the risk and we headed back as soon as we could, - he added.

Despite the intense talk, his face didn’t change a bit, except that he was more determined in what he was saying, but he didn’t mind a woman named Marian getting in trouble with commander. She also had been summoned to Erwin after all as soon as she gets washed and changed.

Commander’s manly and somehow rectangular face seemed grave serious, even if he had to agree with Rivaille:

\- It was risky indeed... – he admitted corporal’s rightness, pouring bourbon into small crystal shots for both of them.

Intension dropped as soon as he closed the bottle with orange-amber liquid inside. Those were really horrifying news after all... that the whole team got killed.

Each of men took one glass in order to commemorate the dead ones.

\- It is a shame that we don’t have any bodies or items to deliver their families... – said Erwin in hushed voice with a ‘feeling down’ expression on his face, even though he respected their actions and wasted lives of his comrades.

Men were about to take up a subject that concerned the families of the dead when a rustle behind the office’ door was heard. Two soldiers, who had been guarding the door to commander, even raised their voices.

\- What the hell is going on there? – mumbled Rivaille waiting for something to happen.

Without knocking, the door sprung open and woman in uniform stumbled in all straggly.

\- I beg your pardon! – She said loudly as an apology for the sudden interruption and made a usual military salute.

\- What is it, Shio? – asked Erwin calmly.

\- Ugh... – woman stopped short in confusion, looking from the tall man to another. Her gaze stopped on corporal.

\- There’s a young woman looking for you, corporal Rivaille...! – reported Shio.

\- Is that all? – asked man indifferently, because there shouldn’t be any rush though.

\- She is very persistent... Says it is urgent and wants you to see her! – Added girl, still standing in attention pose hands behind her back.

\- It seems you’re very popular among women, Rivaille, - mumbled Erwin with a soft and somehow desperate smile on his lips on which short man ‘ch’-ed and asked for a name of the woman, despite that his consciousness already knew who he was about to encounter.

\- Umm... – Shio hesitated with the answer.

\- Maria or something like that... – she replied. It was enough for Rivaille to understand who they will be dealing with next moment.

\- It’s Marian, - he corrected woman’s answer and turned to Erwin:

\- The one, who helped us to save a little girl, - he added calmly.

\- Is that so? – responded Erwin with a surprise which was rather unusual for him as Rivaille could recall.

\- May I go, commander? – asked corporal for permission to what Erwin nodded in a pleased manner yet stopped the short man when he was about to exit through the door.

\- Rivaille, - called him commander, - I’m waiting for the report in every detail about the girl’s rescue...

\- Yeah, - said corporal and asked Shio to follow and lead him to Marian.

He didn’t even step out of the door properly when they almost ran into the woman he assured himself to be very annoying. She looked rather disheveled from running and fighting with the guards and desperate to reach hard-headed corporal.

\- What the hell are you doing here? – Groaned Rivaille angrily, making Shio and two men nearby to move away from him, yet Marian wasn’t really bothered with such angry tone of voice. When he noticed blood spots on woman’s sleeve he acted even more aggressively by scolding her for not having changed the clothes and that she came here like that.

\- But it is urgent, sir! – Responded redhead and before Rivaille could say another word, his name was called loudly from behind the slightly opened office’ door that Shio forgot to shut properly, now stating that it was her awful mistake.

A blond and tall man of strong complexion showed up on the doorway. His silhouette was surrounded by golden rays of setting sun coming from the huge windows in his office. Apart of Rivaille he was wearing his uniform and looked very important and glorious. Three soldiers saluted him immediately.

Marian’s heart dropped when he looked at her with a determination in his blue eyes.

\- My name is Erwin Smith and I’m the commander of the Recon Corps, - he introduced himself to the young woman who was stunned by his manners and deep voice.

\- And you must be Marian...? – He wanted to confirm, because her name was mentioned only few seconds ago when he was still in his office, listening to how Rivaille scolds her for coming here.

\- Y-yes, sir! – She replied almost in the same manner as commander, trying to keep it together and sound very confident when talking to someone like him.

\- Please, come further to my office, - he said and, letting her through, held the door, looking at annoyed Rivaille, who didn’t really like the way commander treated her – respectively – at the same time. Ordering others to be ‘free’ commander and corporal entered the office one more time as well.

 

\- You said it is urgent, - began Erwin and offered her a seat in the chair next to his desk, but Marian refused:

\- With all due respect, I must refuse, sir. My clothes are not so tidy, - she apologized and peeked at corporal whose face was quite creepy after she had mentioned ‘tidiness’. Man was thinking of Petra who let Marian’s escape to happen. Of course he knew what his female teammate has had thought when she discovered that the woman was gone. Gone to him without having washed...

\- I see... – replied Erwin and recalling the short report Rivaille brought him, asked her how she actually helped the team to save an innocent child, but Marian did not respond, leaving the question as a second issue.

\- I will quench your thirst of curiosity as soon as I will have a short word with corporal. Of course, if you don’t mind sir, - she said, standing before the commander, keeping her back straight, with self-assurance.

\- Please, go on, - Erwin smiled softly and woman turned towards the corporal.

\- What is it? – He asked coldly again, looking daggers at her making woman feel uncomfortable, but yet she stepped up to him.

\- I am terribly sorry for dodging your orders and coming here so soon... – came the sincere apology.

– I must hand over something important to you, - and she began searching for something under her cape, looking through secure places such as pockets in the pants, between the belt and... Oh! Here they are!

\- I couldn’t leave it be just like that...

She took out eighteen emblems dirtied in blood and mud with a roughly cut edges.

\- Here... – she mumbled and reached those to Rivaille, whose face was expressing nothing but astonishment and deep despair, like those dead people were his own teammates. That creepy shadow on his face again, because of the sun, and on Erwin’s face too as it seems.

She had been keeping those under her shirt near the heart and when she gave them to him, man could feel how warm those important pieces of cloth were... all soaked in her body warmth that it was rather meaningful and disgusting at the same time.

\- I am sorry for not giving them to you earlier, sir. I think it is best for you to have them... – she said with a voice full of sadness and compassion towards the dead and both men present in this room. They were from their unit after all...

\- I also... felt obliged to bury the remains on the place I found them. I owe you another apology for not mentioning it earlier, again... – her voice went down to quiet with every word, because she felt herself uncomfortable.

\- You are forgiven... – uttered Rivaille not snapping out of the weird state Marian caused him.

\- But seriously, you reek, - was the sudden statement from the corporal.

\- Clean yourself up for God’s sake. It is my last warning! – He added sounding annoyed again.

\- Yes, sir, - whispered Marian feeling down because of the insult.

Erwin looked at how they communicated and acted towards each other, especially woman, who would rather fulfill Rivaille’s order than stay here in his office. Commander decided to let her go by saying that to her, so she could rest in one of the rooms Survey Corps will provide her for few nights before she settles things down with the report and in this kingdom.

Marian left commander’s office after having thanked them for everything so far.

 

* * *

 

\- So, what do you think? – asked blond man.

\- She is rather reckless and annoying, - announced corporal having counted the number of emblems he was given.

\- But also devoted and passionate for saving human lives as it seems. Digging a mass-grave alone outside the walls is nearly a suicide, yet she managed to achieve the goal. Bringing those items all the way here is also a remarkable deed... – speculated Erwin out loud, bringing only the good sides a true soldier would have.

Rivaille knew what commander was on about and couldn’t persuade him otherwise when he was so inspired by something like ‘save humankind at all costs’ or ‘humankind needs such strong soldiers’ and stuff.

\- Are you suggesting calling her into the Survey Corps? – Corporal brought out the main thought Erwin had been describing, while looking through some papers about the deceased team.

\- That young woman would be a good specimen for military reinforcements... So, yes. I suggest trying to persuade her to enlist into the military as soon as possible, - man was very confident about the young woman he met ten minutes ago and already fantasized every detail about how they would achieve great things with the likes of her.

\- I have no other choice and you know it. Do as you please, - responded corporal and noted that he and his team won’t be babysitters for the newbie.

\- I understand that very well. We’ll let her go unsupervised if she chooses to enlist, - said commander and let Rivaille go, because apart of being tired physically and mentally, he had a lot of paperwork to do.

 

* * *

 

* * *

\- I am sorry for having done this to you, Miss Petra! – apologized Marian after being almost kicked in to the shower room by the girl who have had unsuccessfully supervised her.

\- No sneaking this time! – declared Petra angrily remaining in the hallway in order to supervise the young woman from afar. She was very upset with her, because she had been scolded by corporal for loosing Marian out of sight.

Finally! Marian, the one who swam through the rivers, swamps, climbed rocks and mountains, walked rocky deserts and thick forests all those two months, could now wash herself properly not letting any inch of her body not scrubbed with a rough washcloth and soap. She missed hot water so much that she smiled out of joy when got under the hot water stream. While washing her thick red hair, removing all burdocks’ burrs, she noticed a huge bump on her back of the head. Of course she didn’t feel anything, but judging by the stained dark blood scabs, she did hit her head badly and it should have hurt like hell.

\- What’s with those scars on your back? – asked Petra, who took off her uniform’s jacket, because it was too steamy in the showers, carefully when helping Marian with washing her back she couldn’t reach.

\- What scars? – Marian sounded also as much surprised as Petra was staring at long and pale deep scars densely covering girl’s tan back.

Female soldier couldn’t feel more compassion for anyone else than Marian this very moment.


	5. Crossroads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you want to know what she's made of, give wild girl a berserk horse, and you'll see what happens...

##  Crossroads

 

Despite moving into the safe place such this kingdom secured by military forces and huge walls from every side, Marian still couldn’t get any sleep even if she wanted to. She hadn’t seen Tamara for a while now and was worried a lot where she was, how she was...

Woman rolled onto her other side, facing the brick wall. She was given a nice small room on the fifth floor of the main building in the dorms area where she could reside few nights. Her identity was under question and she didn’t have a citizenship, so the gaining the right to live in the kingdom it was a number one priority. And the second was to retrieve Tamara from wherever she was. Sigh.

Even though the bed Marian was lying on was quite soft (which was unusual for her because of two months of wandering) in spite of the stiff spring-mattress, it was way better than sleeping on the trees or on the cold ground in the bushes. It didn’t matter whether she did or didn’t feel pain, sleeping on the ground having a rock as a pillow wasn’t really pleasant thing actually, and woman could feel her back weirdly tickle even now. But in the end as she had closed her eyelids, girl fell asleep two hours before the sunrise.

 

Waken up by heavy knocking on the door; she received a message from commander Erwin that she must show up at his office as soon as she gets breakfast.

Finding canteen wasn’t as difficult as it first seemed despite the fact she wandered into the wrong place which was actually off limits for strangers. Having led to the right place by a soldier everyone in the canteen stared at her silently.

It was very wide dining hall with wooden tables surrounded by benches and chairs where soldiers sat eating their breakfast, chatting and looking at her suspiciously. Perhaps because she wasn’t wearing any uniform and gear that gave away that she was a stranger, or the white blouse and black skirt she had been given yesterday that made her enough feminine for males in the hall.

There was a window connecting the kitchen and the hall to which she was told to go in order to get some food. Her tray was filled with freshly baked bread, porridge and tea pot with a cup.

\- Very nice, - she thought still having calm and sleepily pale look on her tanned face.

\- May I sit here? – She asked wanting to join a small company of soldiers near the window, but got turned down by the statement that those seats were reserved for other people. Marian left the table searching for a place where to sit. Woman even noticed corporal Rivaille in his casuals drinking tea in a weird manner of holding the cup, sitting with Petra and other soldiers she hasn’t met yet. They didn’t even notice her presence.

She felt judging gazes on her back as she passed tables and that made her feel like a black-sheep and unwanted here. Spark of sadness was about to be lit until someone waved to her from the table afar.

\- What the hell are you doing?! – whispered Hay angrily to Kina who just waved.

Their small group of three again like back then when they first met Marian was residing on its own in the corner of the hall.

\- I am trying to be friendly here, - was the answer and they shut up as Marian approached them with a soft smile on her face. She was very grateful to them to accept her in their table.

\- Good morning, - she greeted them and got nods in response as the team was eating their meals.

\- How are you? – asked Leo eating almost cold porridge and then advised Marian to eat it quickly as it is not hot enough.

\- I am fine. Sleepy, but fine... – she replied filling the cup with tea.

\- Yeah, - mumbled man, - All that time must have been a real stress for you... I mean, the way you had been surviving on your own, - he explained quickly not to offend the girl.

\- Maybe, but I’m more concerned with the living here, - said Marian and changed the subject suddenly:

\- Do you know by chance where Tamara had been taken? I want to see her; - sparks of hope could be noticed in her icy blue eyes, but the team hesitated looking in different directions: somebody continued eating, someone scratched his head... Response came from behind Marian who was sitting at the most corner of the table.

\- Sorry for stepping into the conversation, - it was Keith, who seems to have left the table where the Special Squad was sitting at, having brought his tray with half eaten meal.

\- I don’t mind, - answered Marian and continued asking about Tamara.

\- She is in the orphanage until they find her real parents or the new ones; - Keith sounded regretting to tell her that as Marian saddened suddenly.

\- Oh... I see... – she mumbled.

The subject wasn’t brought up again and everyone finished their meals and Marian was the last one to leave the table.

 

Canteen was getting emptier by time as soldiers left to get to their daily jobs. Only few tables were occupied. Rivaille’s comrades had also moved away and left short man on his own. He had been dwelling in his thoughts looking at the window with an empty gaze. Marian noticed that he was drinking his endless tea slightly rocking his right arm hanged over the chair’s back. Leg over leg brought up an association with a dictator or an underground criminal character in Marian’s head, but she shook it off quickly and left her table in order to clean the tray. As she was putting dirty dishes into the special basket, somebody approached her silently to do the same thing.

\- Oh! Good morning! – Greeted Marian corporal with a surprised intonation as she didn’t hear the chair screeching against the stone floor.

\- Morning, - even though his reply was grumpy, Rivaille’s face was quite relaxed and held the same calm expression.

Marian didn’t know what to say or did she even want to say anything else besides that to him and anyway added by questioning how did he sleep. It was inappropriate question indeed and she felt uncomfortable because of her own stupidity, so much she wanted to start bumping her head against the nearest wall out of embarrassment. But the answer was very unusually long:

\- Not so good. Had a lot of paperwork to do... – he uttered with a deep sleepy voice Marian thought to be very adorable. And then man switched to his old manner.

\- Why would you care, _redhead_? – Inquired man with frowning his eyebrows.

\- I... – there was a stumble, - I don’t... – she uttered in ashamed manner and wishing him good day left the canteen.

\- Not only annoying, but weird woman as well, - he noted to himself.

 

* * *

 

Morning turned out to be sunny with only few gatherings of huge white clouds dwelling in the blue sky. But unfortunately it didn’t stay like that for long as the wind had risen.

The storm was coming.

Citizens of the lower cast of human kingdom started running around closing their shops, packing tents and calling for children who were still playing outside.

\- It looks like the storm will be furious, - remarked Marian standing near the window in commander’s office. She wasn’t there alone; Erwin’s friend named Mike was supervising her at the moment.

\- Yeah, - was the answer.

Marian didn’t feel very comfortable with that guy around. He looked so odd and didn’t speak much, just stared at her silently and sometimes even sniffed the air in quite airless room.

The rain started pouring all of a sudden at the same time when Erwin stepped into the office holding a pack of files in his hand.

\- Oh, - he noticed Marian moving away from the window, - You are here so early, - he mumbled and got in his chair.

\- You’ve asked so, - recalled girl.

\- Yes. Right, - he apologized and got to the topic about her identity and objections, ordering no-one to come in before that.

It was a loooong way to go it seems...

Only after three exhausting hours of interrogation, although someone looking like a secretary brought them tea and sweet biscuits, they got to the discussion about her skills. She told them everything she could remember including childhood trainings with horses, hunting, surviving... Everything that wasn't erased by her amnesia from a head wound.

\- Well, that is it then... – murmured Erwin pleasantly as they have ended all of the topics concerning Marian. He definitely wanted to leave to stretch himself and do some other important stuff later, but girl asked him about Tamara.

\- Yes, Keith told the truth. We couldn’t do anything about her. She’s too little for staing here and it would be a huge burden to you to take care of her. Besides, they might find their parents soon, I’m sure of it, - he spoke and collected the papers Marian had written on and signed with a signature made up few seconds ago.

\- I believe I can handle raising a kid, - a shadow of hesitation yet determination ran through her face. She was desperate to fulfill the promise made to the girl.

\- And I believe it otherwise. You have no job, no money and the room I gave you is temporary for living. I won’t even mention sending her to school... - shot the commander self-assurely gazing at her with coldness in his eyes that made girl shut up for good now.

\- But you can always visit her at the orphanage. Nobody had written _that_ rule yet I suppose, - he added wanting to remain on good tune with the other party.

\- Before you leave, I’d like to make you a proposal; - he avowed in a very ardent and reliant way with a sparkling blue eyes bringing Marian Goosebumps onto her skin.

\- Rivaille presented the report to me this morning... – Erwin started with an introduction, which reminded Marian of how tired and sleepy corporal _did_ look back there in the canteen when she spoke to him. Poor man had been writing the report all night long, probably spacing out onto his desk after he had finished it. Well, it is Marian’s imagination playing around, but it could be true.

\- And as I thought, judging by the self-sacrificing actions you have wit and courage to face the titan itself. I’ll tell you what... – He placed his chin onto the twined fingers and stared at Marian piercingly. She was waiting for a condemnation to come, but got this instead:

\- There will be enlisting to the military soon in about two weeks. It is a great chance for young people to serve the humankind in the right and glorious way. I would like you to enlist as soon as possible and join the Survey Corps only, - he spoke with passion about saving the humankind, killing and researching the titans and that her skills would serve the best.

\- But... I don’t know anything about anything... – she replied desperately thinking on how much effort it would take to learn about titans and obey someone’s commands without hesitation. Well, it didn’t matter if she goes killing titans by herself alone, but working in a team is like carrying a huge burden of precious human lives on one’s back.

\- Everything is learnable and included in the training. You’ll get a chance to shine and prove your strength and devotion to others. You won’t have to pay for the living, food and clothes. And if everything turns out in the good way, you could take Tamara from the orphanage if her real parents won’t show up... – last sentence lit a fire of hope in Marian’s heart.

\- That would be great indeed... – muttered woman happily under her nose.

\- Well... – commander stood up from his chair and thoughtfully looked outside of the window at the dark-gray and deep blue shaggy storm clouds that brought pouring rain to this land. The monotonous sound of rain was quite deafening and mixing up with Marian’s own thoughts. There’s too much risk getting eaten by a titan or get squashed. She has seen it herself, not a very lovely view though, or didn’t she just want to die and end up in a mass-grave she once dag with her own hands? Erwin interrupted her thought flow:

\- ... I think two weeks is enough time for you to think about it. But don’t forget that other soldiers also have children who are precious to them like Tamara is to you. And if humanity still is destined to fall, then everyone will be... – he didn’t finish his sentence as girl interrupted his monologue by saying that she gets it.

\- Good. Now you’re free to go. I believe there are cooks who need help in the kitchen... – he glanced at her and gave a warm smile to young woman who was deeply stuck on a crossroad between peaceful yet poor life without Tamara, or a life in which she’ll be on a shrink of death yet prosperous and keeping her promise to a little girl.

It was hard to choose the right answer...

A lightning rumbled and lit up the dark sky and surroundings underneath it in a bluish-white cold light.

 

Then something happened outside in the courtyard where they had horse stalls. A scared neighing had been heard from afar, but it looked like only she could hear the horses cry. Marian startled and looked at Erwin with a frightened expression, but man didn’t even move a finger. In fact, he just stood there, in front of a wet window, looking through some other files with absent expression on his face. Marian then turned her gaze at the Mike, who had been sitting on the sofa in the corner all this time listening to the interrogation. Man did also notice something, but turned his eyes away from her like nothing happened outside.

\- Where are the stalls? – Suddenly and loudly asked Marian, being worried about the horses, that Erwin startled a bit.

\- They are in the east part of the main property, - he replied, but seeing how worried girl got, asked if something was wrong.

\- Yes! – She blurted, - Lightning must have struck the stalls! – she added still having sound of frightened neighing in her ears.

\- It is impossible to hear something like that. The stalls are hundred of meter away from here... – assured her commander calmly.

Running footsteps were heard from behind the door and one wet from rain man in dirtied shoes ran into the room without knocking.

\- Commander Erwin!! – He yelled.

\- There’s a tribulation! The stalls are burning and some horses got out and running berserk around the area! – He informed commander who couldn’t believe his ears.

Having heard the disastrous news Marian rushed out of the office leaving three bemused men in the room and ran out of the building to find the stalls soldier was talking about. It didn’t take any effort to find the place as the soldiers were running in panic carrying empty buckets to the place where huge flames of fire could be seen above the roof of one of the campus’ houses.

Luckily, most of the horses were released from the stalls and brought to safety by their owners or other people who cared. Others were trying to put out the fire that was burning near the entrance to the stable.

\- Somebody, stop the horse! – Someone shouted out loud, warning others about the berserk animal that was running in the courtyard making soldiers jump from its way in order not to get killed by its hooves. Panic spread as a virus.

\- I’ll borrow him! – Sputtered woman to a man who was leading the horse by the reins and not having waited for an approving response grabbed reins from his hand. Having saddled the old steed, Marian shouted ‘whoa!’ and after kicking it, took off as a fury in order to catch another raving horse that soldiers weren’t successful in catching.

Berserk went straight ahead where the property of Survey Corps ended with a line of high fence and Marian and her horse followed. It was very muddy and rain was merciless and became quite an obstacle for the vision. Heavy rain wall separated heavily breathing old steed and Marian from the black horse rushing in front of them.

\- Hiya! – Yelled girl and having smacked the reins to make it go faster, tied those up to the saddle somehow. Leather got very slippery in two seconds because of the downpour after woman got to stand up straight onto it.

\- Look what she’s doing!

\- She must be totally insane!

\- Somebody stop her!

\- Bring the rifle!

... Was heard from around the courtyard from those who noticed the chase from afar. Somebody even got closer to witness or to stop the berserk horse, but ended up failing or falling into the mud with face. Somebody decided to shoot the young steed down. Marian couldn’t let that happen at all costs.

 

Maintaining the accurate balance having her arms spread on sides, Marian made a jump onto another horse from a short distance and hop! A perfect landing! Old horse fell behind and stopped... It was almost a suicide considering how wet the saddles were and the long skirt in her way all this time.

Despite the awkward pose at first with left knee almost in the saddle and another leg stretched wide out on horse’s back, Marian clanged tightly to the saddle’s sides. Getting into the right sitting position was easy, but insane rodeo went on even when she grabbed the reins and pulled them with force. That, of course, stopped the black steed, but it was still raving and jumping, trying to throw her off.

\- Calm down! Calm down buddy! – She chanted and hushed, trying to pat steed on the neck, but rumbling lightning made it worse. She almost fell! Luckily after covering horse’ eyes with both hands to save it from the frightening lightning, horse went on just by running ahead slowing down with every minute till it began galloping.

\- Good boy...! – She praised by patting it on the wet and sweaty neck. Well... she wasn’t dry either after chasing for it about twenty minutes. Steed calmed down partly because of exhaustion from running and it was now easier to control.

When both of them wet to the bone made it to the stalls, where the fire was almost put out by rainfall and with the help of the soldiers, panic had died down and she caught many different gazes staring at her as they approached. Some looked amazed, astonished, maybe angry, some of them suspicious and judging. But the horse whisperer didn’t give a shit about how they actually felt and having come down from the horse, she led it to the place under roof where other animals had been guided.

A loud cheering whistle had been heard from unknown direction and it was a ‘go’ signal for the rest of the Survey Corps members to cheer and shout happily for her who tamed the wild horse without shooting it down like they usually do if something like that happens.

Ignoring the happy shouts, woman flattered horse’ forehead gently and then raised corners of her mouth unnoticeably when leaning her forehead against horse’.

Soldiers dealt with everything else in the rain and left her be on her own. That was the moment when she caught a feeling that somebody’s watching her from behind. Having turned her soaking wet red head towards the roofed terrace of the closest building, she saw Mike accompanying Erwin who was looking intensively at her with a weird expression on his face like he was almost smiling and serious at the same time. Marian gave him her sourest and most crushed face she could compose, understanding what commander just finally saw in her, remembering the talk they had half an hour ago at his office.

No-one could deal with horses the way _she_ could and only that made her special in commander’s eyes? It was true that soldiers must know how to treat and communicate with their animals in order to survive the eye-to-eye combat with titans.

And Marian would be a great example for all of them.


	6. This is ridiculous. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiny filler for serious story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for 29 hits and 2 kudos left behind! I truly appreciate it! ♥

##  This is ridiculous. Part 1

 

Days flew by and it was already an end of the first week. Seven more days till the final decision should be made.

\- We need more plates! – Yelled chef, who was usually in charge of giving out the food or navigating his fellow cooks in the kitchen, to Marian.

\- Yes! – girl replied loudly because of all that clattering noise of dishes, trays, tinkling sound of cups and glasses and finally the rumpus going on in the kitchen. Employees cooked, served, gave out, washed and cleaned everything and all at once.

A warm steam of hot water hit Marian’s face as she started washing huge ceramic plates as fast as she could for cooks, waiting to serve the lunch for hungry and partly angry soldiers, who stood in the growing queue before the window.

\- Next! – Roared chef and queue move on a bit.

\- Marian! – He called again, - Let Conrad to take the charge of washing! You serve now! – was the order and girl rushed to the window, having grabbed three hot dishes at once, placing them onto her almost stretched out hands, still keeping the accurate balance. Giving out food went on faster as one more girl was ordered to help redhead deliver those plates to the window. Of course she had seen how fast Marian worked with those plates, carrying them around several at once, and wanted to try it out herself.

Redhead, still the newbie here, ran out of dishes to serve and while waiting for more to come, when chef wasn’t around, had been dragged into the flirty chat with one of the young men next in the line. Yes, he was charming and stuff, but girl remained loyal to her fundamentals more than a one-night fun as it seemed.

\- That was nothing, really! – She answered to the compliment about trick riding the day when stalls were on fire. While listening to man’s chatty talk, she noticed someone short and sixth in the line. Oh, corporal... – she thought. She wasn’t surprised at all since he was also a soldier and a human-being who must eat and sleep...

Marian took three meals as usual and brought them to the soldiers. Fourth one was left for Luna - the other girl – to bring. The queue moved onward. Rivaille was now standing second in front of a window.

\- Oh, hello! – She greeted him warmly to which got the “yeah” response with a usual calm expression.

\- Busy as usual, corporal? – Marian wasn’t very good at striking up meaningful conversations, especially with non-talkative people like he was. Well... they did meet a couple of times during her stay in the headquarters, but haven’t spoken a word, just nodding to each other, umm... she was the first one to nod as a greeting actually...

\- Enough work to handle, - was the short response.

Wow! He said something! – She thought with a sarcasm, but ran out of phrases and questions and just stood there trying to smile in a friendly way, waiting for cooks to do their job faster.

And then it happened. That was the moment when she saw the significant change on corporal’s face.

Luna tried to grab three plates at once like Marian usually did, and she was successful! A lot! But one clumsy guy from the kitchen stepped on something slippery that made him stumble and bump into Luna. All of three dishes ended up thrown out of the window. Marian was lucky one to dodge the flying food: red sauce with meat, potatoes and salad, apart from the soldiers waiting for the meal and short man.

Oh my god! How he was frustrated! Anger and disgust at the same time! Rivaille’s ‘must kill!’ face scared the shit out of Luna who swallowed her tongue along with her courage and pride to say at least an apology to the corporal, who turned out to be a clean-freak as Marian could recall from squad leader Hange’s words.

\- _You_... – he hissed angrily. Everyone near him could feel his rage boil and there was no single soul left around him in ten-meter radius. His hands were shaking and wanting to choke girl to death.

\- She is extremely sorry!! – yelled Marian and having grabbed Luna by her head, made her bow along with herself.

\- Say you’re sorry...! – hissed redhead, forcing her to apologize even though it wasn’t her fault. Clumsy guy got away easily by just running off after he put it together that the situation gut serious.

\- I am terribly sorry!! – exclaimed Luna almost crying, dropping single teardrops onto the floor.

\- Please forgive me! – She added sobbing, but there was no response from the corporal. Only the canteen’s door that was slam shut with a bang spread all over the canteen.

Rivaille left the hall running into his office, taking off outer garments such as dirtied jacket and reddened of sauce cravat.

\- Those assholes...! All of them! – He grunted over his ruined white shirt, which he threw into the trash can, because it won’t wash off. It wasn’t his first time when he got spoiled with a food served in the canteen... Previous time the man has had fights during the meals and responded aggressively to any insults.

Meanwhile in the kitchen Marian was trying to calm Luna, who was still trembling because of corporal’s raged and scary face she had seen first in her life, down. Of course she knew that he was stated to be humanity’s one of the strongest soldiers and that everyone respected him as much as feared.

\- But his face...! – girl couldn’t get over it.

\- Put yourself together! He didn’t do anything to you! – Still tried redhead and sighed.

Marian was helping to clean her face in the small closet with cans and water, as food also had impact on her assistant as well.

\- Look... there’s a plenty of time before the dinner comes and I’m sure corporal Rivaille will be hungry as a tiger... – wow, did she just compare shorty to a tiger? Wow.

\- I suggest you making lunch for him and ask someone trustworthy to bring it to his office where he is probably sitting this one out, okay? – Marian’s advice acted on fair-haired girl as a soothing lullaby.

\- But we still have to clean everything up and I promise to kick Lupo for you, - she added encouraging Luna to work as nothing happened and that she will get revenge on clumsy Lupo who messed it up for real.

 

* * *

 

 

Lunch was finally over and soldiers came to the cafeteria in order to drink something like tea, coffee or stronger drink when somebody brought a bottle of wine or cognac.

Few people stayed in the kitchen to wash dishes, tables and to prepare everything for the next meal. Marian was one of those few and was sweeping the floor with a broom, thinking about how Luna’s doing all the time. She had been gone a while ago now with a dish prepared by both of them to insinuate Rivaille.

And then Luna finally appeared, looking a bit nervous, but okay.

\- Well? How scary was it? – asked Marian, inviting her to sit behind the table.

Luna told her about how she brought him dish personally, but as it turned out his door had been locked from the inside and annoyed voice yelling ‘I’m busy!’ almost made her to go away.

\- Even if you had a hot steaming food with you? – Redhead sounded very surprised, because how could Rivaille let the goods to go to waste.

\- No-no, I asked again and told him about that. He ordered to leave it next to the door and so I did... – mumbled girl thoughtfully.

\- Do you think he will eat it? – was the sudden question to which Marian couldn’t answer. She didn’t know Rivaille that much after all...

\- Marian! – called her chef from the kitchen.

\- Go find Lupo, please! That brat is hiding again somewhere! Tell him I ordered! – said muscular man and disappeared from the give-away window, making M. sigh.

\- Get the vegetables, please, - she asked Luna and then left the canteen.

Her walk was so fast that her long black skirt flew far away from her marching legs. She wondered where that guy could be hiding at the same time, when heard sobbing in the room where they held barrels with water. Marian stopped and cautiously knocked on the wooden door not to scare sobbing person away.

It was Lupo. Guy was very pale and his cheeks got wet every time he recalled his clumsiness back then in the canteen. Marian almost felt sorry for him...

\- Hey... – she whispered carefully opening the door.

\- Who’s there? – He inquired wiping tears off his face. He got up from floor as fast as an arrow as soon as he saw who talked to him.

\- Go away! – He ordered, but Marian wasn’t easy person to say ‘no’ or ‘go away’ to.

\- I won’t... – she mumbled looking at him with a pity in her eyes, even though she had no idea about the cause of tears.

\- What’s wrong? – Asked Marian, but he didn’t answer and tried to rush away from her. But pushing girl away wasn’t successful as it seemed at first. Marian was way stronger than she looked. Girl had to put it together that it was all about the accident.

\- Is that it? – Surprise ran across her tan face and Lupo had no other chance than to answer her.

\- Yes... and no... I... – he stopped short to collect his thoughts.

\- It’s just I am too fucking clumsy person by nature... I had many other accidents worse than that in my military life and my squad leader said that if I make one more mistake he’ll send me away to do the cleaning job. Can you imagine how disgusting it is to clean after pigs that mess up every single toilet?! Even horses are better! – he chittered his pain out to her.

Having second thought about what happened, Marian sighed. She could make it look as it was her fault instead and Lupo won’t be the ‘stall’ cleaner in men’s toilets. Having assured him that she would take the blame for what happened and face his squad leader and Rivaille himself. Lupo couldn’t imagine anything like that to happen to him first time in his life when somebody agreed willingly to take his blame and save his clumsy ass! He was so happy that burst out in tears again, hugging Marian tightly.

\- Hey! Let go! You’re all sniveling! – She shouted in a funny way and led him to chef, who asked her to find the lost soul Lupo.

Chef took him somewhere and there was also no clue of Luna. That made Marian feel lonely and she grabbed the broom and began sweeping dust again.

The door opened and Rivaille stepped in. It was quite unexpected, especially when girl saw him carry the closed tray in his hand. It was the meal they prepared as an apology.

Having spotted Marian who was staring at him with a calm anticipation on her face, man went in different direction and sat at the table in the middle.

\- What was that all about? – flew through her mind when corporal turned his back at her in order to preserve himself from curious gaze.

Yes, he opened the tray and wanted to begin eating, until he realized something was missing from the tray.

\- Here you go, corporal, - spoke Marian calmly placing a plate before him. Without saying anything, man just looked at her with a missing facial expression. He was probably still angry about the accident and Marian just moved away, without making sudden movements, back to the work.

Corporal started eating. Judging by his aura around him, Marian was pleased to know that he actually liked the meat dumplings two girls made together. Well... she did most of the work... One, two, three and food were gone from a small pot where there were about ten dumplings. It was weird to watch someone eat with a cold countenance.

Having finished his meal, corporal looked around the canteen and after spotting redhead, called out to her by shouting ‘oi’ and waved his hand for her to come closer.

\- Yes, sir? – She felt slightly nervous, because you had no idea what to expect from corporal.

\- Thank you for the meal, - he mumbled calmly with a grateful intonation in his voice, without looking at Marian, clinging to the broom in her hands.

\- It was Luna who made it, - she said softly, trying to maintain serious tone.

\- _Oh, please!_ – Corporal smirked, - Luna cannot cook and every soldier in Survey Corps knows it! – He noted something that M. didn’t know about the fair-haired girl. It was rather disappointing that he saw the plan through, yet said that she is glad he liked the meal.  
Rivaille reassured her that she can deliver it to ‘that shitty female cook’ that he doesn’t bear a grudge against Luna.

\- That is good to hear, sir, - Luna didn’t have to worry about a thing, but Lupo... She kept her promise to that guy and kindly asked corporal to tell Lupo’s squad leader that it is her fault of what happened, to which corporal nodded positively.

\- Enough with the pathetic talk! – He blurted and threw one leg over another in arrogant manner that Marian startled a bit of a sudden mood change.

\- Bring me some tea! And make sure it’s hot or else... _redhead_! – He requested in raised commanding tone and girl ran away being aroused.


End file.
